To Melt Frozen Snow
by Marisol Akyri
Summary: The first chapter is a oneshot. I did not write it! the rest of the chappies however are mine. -------- What happens when one moment of weakness from the dragon & comfort from a riceball begins to melt the "Frozen Snow"? --------
1. Sobbing Dragons and Comforting Riceballs

**I DID NOT WRITE THIS FIRST CHAPTER! THIS STORY AND CHAPTERS AFTERWARDS WILL BE A CONTINUATION OF THIS ONESHOT! **

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_**It was late at night when Tohru awoke, her mouth dry and tasting of cotton. She lay in bed for long, half-awake moments, trying to persuade her body that what she really needed, rather than water, was more sleep. Her body was not fooled. With a soft sigh, Tohru went about freeing herself from the blankets.**_

_**She was careful as she made her way downstairs. Careful to go slowly and nearly silently. Careful not to trip. Careful not to wake anyone else. It really was very late and she certainly did not wish to wake anyone else. They all needed their rest.**_

_**In the kitchen, Tohru got a cup from the cupboard before getting a drink from the faucet. The house was dark and silent. As she sipped her water, she listened to the house softly creak and groan. She listened to the night noises as the bugs sang to each other and the frogs croaked. As she refilled her cup for a second drink, an owl hooted in the distance.**_

_**Then, she heard a strange noise. It was so soft that at first Tohru doubted that she heard it. Still, she shut off the tap and held perfectly still, her cup of water forgotten in her hand, as she shifted all of her concentration to her ears. With every fiber of her being, Tohru listened to the night noises, listening for something out of place. She pushed the soft noises made by a house at night from her mind. She ignored the bugs and frogs. For long moments, nothing new filtered into her system. An owl hooted, much closer this time. Tohru jump, her heart racing.**_

_**The jump caused the cup in Tohru's hand jerk violently, which in turn made the water slosh over the edge and other her and the floor below. Even as her free hand pressed itself to her pounding heart, Tohru looked at the spilled water in dismay. For a moment, a very short moment, Tohru considered leaving the water as it was and going back to bed. Surely it would evaporate before anyone wok up this morning. But whispered a tiny corner of her mind, what if someone else wants water tonight? What if Kyo-kun wants a drink of milk? What if it isn't gone before morning and Yuki-kun doesn't see it? He isn't really awake in the morning… What if someone slips on the mess you've made and falls and hurts himself?**_

_**Just thinking about causing injury to one of the Sohmas made Tohru feel terribly guilty. Carefully she put her cup on the counter and went to get a rag from a drawer. As she was mopping the small puddle up, Tohru heard the small, indefinable noise again. This time, though, she was sure that it had come from the outside porch. For one, heart-stopping moment, she thought it was Jason the bear, come to eat her and the Sohmas.**_

_**Then, unbidden, from her memory rose two reassuring voices. True, they were raised and in the midst of arguing with each other, but to her, they were two of the most reassuring voices in the world.**_

_**"I'll tell you that Jason is not real but a character in a horror movie!" **_

_**"How would I know? What's the big deal about a bear that appears in a horror movie?"**_

_**Feeling reassured and safe, Tohru rose and moved to investigate the source of the noise. She made sure to be as quiet as she could. If it was a wild animal, she did not want to disturb it or scare it away.**_

_**It was even darker outside and it took a moment for her eyes to pick any details out but when she realized what she was looking at, Tohru gasped softly. Outside, sitting alone in the dark was Hatori, sobbing softly as if his world had ended. He was curled up in the corner between the side of the breakfast table, the railing of the porch, and the back of the bench, his knees against his chest, his arms around his shins, his head resting on his knees. He looked so much younger as he sat on the bench in the dark, trying to hold himself, trying to cry silently.**_

_**For a moment, Tohru stood stock still, gripped in indecision. Should she go outside and try to comfort Hatori? But Hatori was such a private person… perhaps he wished to be alone. Perhaps he would be angry or embarrassed to know that Tohru had seen him when he was vulnerable. He probably went outside so as not to wake anyone. Hatori was kind and thoughtful like that. But he looked so hurt…**_

_**Unbidden, a memory of herself, sobbing at the bedside of her dying mother rose in her mind. At first she had wanted to be alone. Her heart hurt so much, she thought she would die of it. But then, she had wanted someone to hold her, to love her and comfort her because it would never be better, it would never be okay, and she did not wish to be alone anymore. And she was about to become more alone than she could ever possibly have imagined… If Arisa and Saki had not ignored her wishes… If they had not come in because they loved her too much to leave her alone…**_

_**She opened the sliding glass door. It made a small noise as it slid by on its rollers. The wooden deck made a soft noise as she stepped onto it, her feet bare.**_

_**Hatori heard the door open and her footsteps on the deck. Raggedly he tried to swallow his sobs even as he roughly, angrily, swiped at his eyes. Hatori didn't bother to look up at his late night visitor.**_

_**"Hatori-san…" she breathed.**_

_**"Go back to bed Tohru-kun."**_

_**He had moved his face enough so that his voice would not be muffled. His voice was calm, cold even, and ruthlessly collected. It was a sharp contrast to his body language.**_

_**For a moment, Tohru wavered with indecision. Then, almost without her permission, her hand rose and closed the door to the porch, shutting herself and Hatori outside. Now she could not got back, even if she wanted to. Tohru prayed that she found the right thing to say, the right thing to do.**_

_**"Hatori-san –"**_

_**Her voice was tentative. Hatori interrupted her.**_

_**"I'm fine." He reassured her briskly. He put a special emphasis on his next three words. "Go back inside."**_

_**He still would not look at her. And he was still ensconced in the cold comfort of his corner. He shifted his head slightly and Tohru could see silent tears tracking down his face by the faint glow of the moon and stars. Her resolve hardened. She would not leave Hatori to cry alone in the dark.**_

_**"Hatori-san" she said for the third time, her voice firm yet very gentle.**_

_**"Please Tohru!" There was a soft note of desperation underlying the harshness of his voice. Tohru flinched from the tone of his voice. He never looked at her but he must have somehow sensed her movement because he tried to moderate his tone for her. He was not particularly successful. "Please… Please go inside. I'll… I'll be fine."**_

_**She studied him for a long moment. Despite everything, he still had not moved anything except for his head. And he still refused to so much as look in her direction. Finally she spoke; her voice was soft and warm with love and compassion. All of it was directed toward Hatori.**_

_**"I cannot leave Hatori-san alone in the dark. I care too much about him to leave him alone when he seems so sad. If he would let me, I would hold him against his sorrow. Hatori-san would not have to tell me what has happened. I would be content to be near him."**_

_**Hatori's head jerked up, longing and pain, desperate hope and denial mixing on his face.**_

_**"The curse, Tohru-kun."**_

_**His voice was dull.**_

_**Tohru's heart constricted even as she took the few remaining steps until she was standing at the foot of the bench.**_

_**"I could hold you without setting off the curse, Hatori-san."**_

_**He was still for a moment more. Then he unfolded himself from his corner and slowly, clumsily, crawled down the length of the bench, towards Tohru. Tendrils of his long hair hung in his face; his good eye was fixed on her despite the locks of his hair. As he drew nearer, Tohru saw the silvery tracks on his face. He had never truly stopped crying. Not even while they spoke to one another.**_

_**When he reached the edge of the bench, he sat on his knees, looking unsure. Tohru leaned closer and tugged at his knees, wordlessly telling him to sit facing her. Sliding around on the bench, he moved so that he sat on the end of it, his feet planted on the deck. On one side was the side of the table, on the other, the back of the bench. And in front of him was Tohru.**_

_**Tohru who opened her arms and pulled him close to her. Tohru who's abdomen he found his face pressed into, her arms around his shoulders. He sagged against her, his arms coming up and around her hips. His lower legs were all but twined with hers they were so close together. And yet, his upper body was safely out of contact with hers. He would remain in his human form.**_

_**Tohru felt him stiffen against her as his harsh sobs began once again, this time muffled against her body instead of his knees.**_

_**"Shhhhhh… It's all right to cry Hatori-san. Don't be afraid. Everyone cries and everyone needs to be held. It doesn't make you any less than you are, or any weaker, that you want to be held while you cry. You are still Hatori-san. I will always like you, just the way you are. I will always hold you when you need to be held."**_

_**He began to cry again in earnest, his arms tightening almost painfully around her. Tohru made no complaint. Instead, she tightened her arms around his shoulders and soothingly ran the fingers of one hand through the hair at the back of his head.**_

_**Hatori cried for a long time. Even after he stopped crying, he stayed where he was, his face pressed into her abdomen, his arms tightly wrapped around her hips. Tohru never let go of him.**_

_**Finally, in the wee hours of the day, as the world began to sleepily shift in anticipation of a new day and the darkness became just a little less dark, Hatori shifted slightly, his arms loosening just a bit. Following his silent lead, Tohru loosened her grip on him. She looked down at him, searching his tear-ravaged face. But Hatori caught her gaze for less than a fraction of a second before he looked away, his gaze skittering from the wet spot on her pajamas to the deck beneath his feet. His arms dropped from her hips completely.**_

_**Tohru let go of his shoulders. Instead she moved her hands so that they captured his. Hatori gave a tiny start of surprise. Tohru tugged on his hands and obediently he stood. When she shifted her grip so that she only held one hand in his, he took the opportunity to swipe certain photos off of the table. Tohru pretended not to see the movement as she led him into the house. She never let go of his hand as she led him to the kitchen. With her free hand, she gestured for him to sit down in a chair in the kitchen. Then she left him, moving about the kitchen with a quiet confidence. Soon, she presented him with a mug of hot chocolate complete with tiny marshmallows.**_

_**They sat in silence as they drank their respective hot chocolates. Then she put the mugs in the sink along with her used water cup, forgotten on the counter a lifetime ago, and returned to take Hatori's hand again. Tohru tugged him out of his seat, then walked him upstairs and to his bedroom door.**_

_**"We should brush our teeth" Hatori said at last, his voice low and hoarse. "That hot chocolate will be bad for our teeth."**_

_**Tohru smiled gently. "We could skip it. Just this once."**_

_**Hatori was silent again for a moment. Then nodded.**_

_**"Just this once."**_

_**He seemed reluctant to let go of her hand, lingering in the hallway for long moments. Then, with a soft sigh, he let her go as he opened the door to her room. He gave her a serious look from the doorway to his bedroom.**_

_**"Tohru I –"**_

_**But this time, she interrupted him.**_

_**"Good night, Hatori-san."**_

_**And with that, she turned and walked away, headed down the hallway towards her own room. She felt his eyes watching her until she slipped into her own room; heard the soft click of Hatori's door shutting only after she was out of his line of sight.**_

_**Tohru carefully rearranged her covers then slipped into bed.**_

_**She slept late the next day.**_

_**Hatori slept even later.**_

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**I love weak Hatori. I just want to cry along with him...**


	2. What The Dragon Needs

Shigure walked into the kitchen, expecting to see Tohru buzzing around, preparing another one of her filling breakfasts.

"Tohru-kun!!!! Pretty Flower!" Shigure bent under the beads marking the entrance of the kitchen, and froze. Tohru wasn't here.

"Tohru?" Shigure kept on walking forward, expecting her to appear out of thin air. "I hope our precious Flower isn't sick…I'll starve if she is!" Shigure took one more step, right on the puddle of water that Tohru never cleaned up.

"WAAAAAA!" Shigure was waving his arms crazily, as he flipped back on the tile.

THUD!

He found himself on the floor, slowly soaking on the accused puddle.

"Who was mean enough to leave this here?!" Shigure turned his head to find some evidence, and looked straight out the sliding door to the backyard.

Something was on the ground outside.

Shigure crawled to the door and slid it open. As he stepped outside he noticed pictures littering the floor.

"What are they doing here?" Shigure lifted the closest one he could find, and studied the people in it.

Shigure's child-like face grew serious, and looked at the remaining photos on the floor.

"These are wedding pictures…" Shigure froze and spun his head to the puddle of water on the kitchen floor. He put two and two together in his head, or at least what he thought happened.

"Hatori…"

Shigure stood up and rushed to Hatori's room. Behind him fluttered the picture to the ground. The newly married bride in the picture was none other then Kana.

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Tohru stirred before finally sitting up in bed. Her eyes snapped open when she realized it was too bright in her room. She looked over to her clock, and found the time to be 10:00 A.M.

"Oh no! I'm late to make breakfast!" Tohru jumped out of bed and rushed to get dressed.

"Now everyone is probably hungry because of me! Poor Shigure-san and Yuki-kun and Kyou-kun and Ha-." Tohru stopped.

"Poor Hatori-san…He was so sad." Tohru silently reflected on what happened that night. How Hatori clung to her, sobbing freely. "It seemed Hatori-san would be the last person I could think of to cry."

Tohru opened her door, and stepped out into the hall.

_Who knew Hatori-san had so much sadness built up inside him? At least I was there to help him. If I wasn't there, Hatori-san would've cried alone. All alone…_

These thoughts almost made Tohru burst into tears. She could only imagine what would make the strong, unwavering Sohma break down like that.

She was happy that she was there for him. For her heart went out to him at that moment. He needed someone to lean on as well, as much as the rest of the family.

_I should make Hatori-san something special to eat. To know someone is there for him. _Tohru was deep in thought as she passed Hatori's room.

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Hatori sluggishly opened his eyes, trying to not drift back to sleep. "Last night…"

Hatori closed his eyes once more, trying to comprehend what exactly happened that night.

_How could I have cried so freely in font of her? _In all honesty, the only people who have seen him cry were Kana and Tohru.

_How could I have felt comfortable enough to let go like that? I've known her for less time than Kana! _

Hatori flinched at thinking of that name. _She's gone now. _

Hatori always accepted the fact Kana could never come back, but this latest event brought Hatori back to the truth. Hard.

Now there was no hope for her to come back.

_I knew that was the case, that there was no hope. But then why did those pictures get to me?!_

Hatori sighed and rolled over in the bed. _I was just too tired. That's what lack of sleep does to you…_

He accepted that answer for crying in the first place, but why he was able to in front of Tohru was something he didn't have an answer for. And that bugged him.

But at the same time, it gave him great comfort. No one ever helped him. To the whole family, Momiji, Shigure, Rin, Ayame… HE was the one to help them. To give them a logical reason or answer for their problems.

But no one ever took the stand to be the responsible one. To let Hatori be the one in doubt, the one to receive the reassuring answer that everything will be alright.

Hatori stopped himself, knowing what he's saying is ridiculous. Surely his own immediate family had helped him as a child. Hatori's mind raced back to his childhood, trying to find something to prove his thoughts right…

_A boy of about seven walked down the hallway. A perfect image of Hatori, but younger. The boy's eyes however are different. They're full of childlike hope and wonder, untouched by the cold world that he will befriend later in life. _

_Hatori passes by his parent's bedroom door, but stops when he hears raised voices. Grinning to himself, he eavesdrops, acting out of normal boyhood mischief._

_On the other side of the door a woman with bright green eyes and brown hair stands defiantly in front of her husband, a man with gray eyes, dark green hair. An almost spitting-image of adult Hatori. _

_The woman clenches her fists, out of anger. "Why haven't you asked yet?! He's your father!" The man shakily steps back, obviously afraid of his wife. "Think of what your s-s-saying! H-How could anyone think of something so cruel?" The wife narrows her eyes. "No. What's cruel has to live with that child. Our only child and it's a freak! A disgrace!" The man lowers his head. "That may be true, but he still is our son…" "No. Our son is a perfectly normal boy. What we have now is no child of mine, or yours!" _

_Hatori trembles, as he opens the door a little more. All he could make out what something about being cruel. He sticks his head out farther, and sees his parents in yet another fight. _

_Hatori sighs obviously bored. Nothing new there. He's about to go when his name is mentioned._

"_Hatori is still our son!" The wife merely glares at the man. "You mean your son. He's out of my life. And I'm going to your father without you if that's how it has to be."_

_Hatori's eyes widen. No one ever went to his grandfather unless…_

"_Why can't you accept him?" "Why? Do you know how it feels to not be able to hug your own son?! To have a son who turns into a SEAHORSE none the less! He's a failure to his animal even! He's supposed to be the DRAGON! And instead, all he is a puny fish. I'm through with him and you if you don't go with me." _

_Hatori lowered his head, hearing every word of his mother's rant. It wasn't his fault he couldn't be a dragon. And didn't she know how much it hurt him how he couldn't hug her? Hatori backed away from the door, fighting back tears. _

_All of the sudden, the door opened, and light flooded the hallway. The intimidating figure of his mother was standing in front of Hatori. "Move." Hatori flinched. His mother never spoke with that much venom toward him. _

_He lowered his head, and was desperately fighting back his sobs. She was supposed to be his mother. His father crept from behind. "You s-shouldn't be that cruel." "You stay out of this." Hatori looked up, to see the weak figure that was his Dad. _

"_J-Just because he's a…a…" The wife turned back to her husband. "He's a what?" "A…freak." This word was muttered low, in hopes of hiding it from Hatori. He still heard it. The mother smiled and pushed Hatori out of the way. With a yelp Hatori's head hit the wall, his back skidded on the floor. Without a second glance the woman walked past the huddled figure of her "son". The father hesitated for a moment. _

_Hatori looked up, silently pleading for some form of comfort. He raised his arms toward the cowardly figure that was his father, in hopes of a hug, at the least. _

_The father stood in the hallway, staring at the feeble child._

"_Are you coming or not?!" _

_The father averted his eyes and followed his wife down the hallway, to the room where Hatori's grandfather resided. _

_Hatori watched the figures until they disappeared in the darkness of the hallway. He slowly lowered his arms. _

_Then the tears came. Without hesitation he broke out into harsh sobs, and curled into a ball. _

_He tried to think of a reason why. Why he was disliked so much. But through his bitter tears, he couldn't think of an answer. _

_Young Hatori hugged his knees as moved up against the wall, and cried. He hated who he was and what was happening. _

_He was crying alone. All alone.

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_

Shigure ran past Tohru on the steps.

"Shigure-san?"

Shigure stopped, and grabbed Tohru's arm as he traveled up. "Hatori saw the photos didn't he?"

Tohru stared at Shigure. "Did Shigure-san see them?"

"Yes, and I have a feeling Hatori didn't act like himself last night."

"H-hai. He-." Tohru stopped, not sure whether Hatori would appreciate that everyone would know he was crying.

Shigure opened Hatori's door with one arm as he pulled Tohru in the room with him.

Tohru's felt her heart ache once again as Hatori's curled body came into view. Shigure approached the bed, and saw the trembling figure. "Poor Ha'ri. He's having a nightmare…" Tohru walked beside Shigure. "Should we wake him?" Shigure backed off, leaving Tohru at the bedside. "I don't think he would appreciate it if I was the one to wake him up." Tohru whipped her head back as Shigure was closing the door behind her. "Shigure-san?" "I think the best thing for Ha'ri right now is for you to wake him." "H-Hai." Tohru turned back toward Hatori, as she heard the door close behind her.

Outside the door Shigure sighed. "Poor Ha'ri. His heart broken all over again. Hopefully Tohru could mend it…" Shigure walked down the stairs.

Back inside the room Tohru stared at the man before her. Normally a figure of assurance and intimidation, she couldn't recognize the Hatori in front of her.

Hatori was shaking in his sleep, curled up into a ball. Incoherent cries were coming out of his mouth. Tohru looked closer, and saw a thin trail of tears down his face.

"Again Hatori-san?"

Tohru hesitantly reached an arm out toward Hatori's arm, growing in confidence when he didn't jerk away. She wrapped her arm around his, and pulled it.

"Wake up Hatori-san. It's not real."

He responded by turning slightly toward the voice and letting loose another line of words.

"It's not my fault…"

Tohru wrinkled her nose in deep thought. _What's not his fault?_

"It's not my fault!"

Tohru jumped as Hatori raised his voice.

"Shhh. It's not your fault."

At her words Hatori silently stopped shaking, and barely opened his eyes.

"Don't worry Hatori-san it's not real. Wake up."

* * *

_Hatori lifted his head as a gentle voice filled the hallway. "W-What?" _

"**Wake up now."**

"_Wake up?" _

"**Everything's alright."

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**

Hatori opened his eyes, and escaped the past.

Tohru smiled as he tried to sit up. "See Hatori-san?" He turned toward her, and whispered. "See what?" She rubbed his arm and approached closer. "It wasn't real…"

He stared at her, trying to figure out what she was talking about. "It wasn't real…"

Realization hit him as he remembered what he was trying to wake up from. He bowed his head. "It was."

"No it wasn't."

He jerked his arm out of her's.

"Yes it was."

She lowered her head. "I'm sorry."

He stopped. That wasn't the response he was expecting. "It's okay."

She shook her head as she broke down. "No it isn't. I made Hatori-san angry and feel bad again. I couldn't make Hatori-san feel better." He slowly turned towards her. "But it isn't your fault."

"Yes it is! I didn't make the pain Hatori-san felt in his heart last night go away because he still was sad this morning."

"But it's for something different."

Hatori blurted this out and instantly wished he didn't say anything.

Tohru looked up. "What is it? What's making your heart feel sad?" She moved a little closer to Hatori. "Was it your nightmare?"

He shook his head. "It wasn't a nightmare. It was…"

"Real?" Hatori nodded wordlessly. That's all Tohru needed. She moved right next to him, clutching his hand in hers. "But it's not happening anymore, right?" "Right."

Hatori shakily lifted his other arm, and wrapped it around Tohru's back.

Tohru's shoulder was against Hatori's so their chests never made contact with the other. He looked behind Tohru, trying to figure out why she cared so much. "Why do you always say the right things…"

"Because I know how you feel."

Hatori gave a small jump, not realizing he said that out loud.

"I remember when I was alone and wanted someone to be there for me."

As she explained this to the dragon, she realized something. Hatori was like the other Sohma's, needing help with an obstacle. But the only help for him was something she couldn't give everyone.

_Poor Hatori-san. He needs someone to always be there. He needs someone to…_

Tohru opened her eyes wider as Hatori lowered his head, having his forehead lie on her shoulder, being oh-so-careful he wasn't in a position to transform.

Having Hatori this close to her made her faintly blush, but she didn't pull away. Instead she smiled and clutched his arm tighter.

_He needs someone to love…_

Tohru bent her head as well, pressing her forehead in his arm.

"I'm here for you Hatori-san." Hatori closed his eyes as he heard her.

_How can she make her words seem so truthful? Words are just words, but coming from her, they seem like written law. _

Hatori nestled his head deeper against Tohru's shoulder and murmured,"Thank you…"

* * *

Shigure was on the phone with Aya. "Hurry and come quick! Poor Ha'ri is in need of our comfort!" Aya shouted dramatically at the phone. "I shall be there as fast as possible!" "You must be faster Aya!" Just when Aya was about to lower the phone, Shigure said one last thing. "Be sure to bring a camera…" "Why Shigure-chan?!!" Shigure smiled, knowing even in times of sadness mischief was needed. "Let's just say our little Tohru is cheering Ha'ri up and-." "Say no more dear friend! I shall make with haste!" Shigure smiled in anticipation as he hung up.

All of a sudden, a loud growl escaped his stomach. "AIEEE! I'm still hungry!!"


End file.
